Billy Wagner's a Rat

I'm surprised at the number Phillies "fans" who are making the case to bring back one of the toothiest rats in recent Phil's history - Billy Wagner, the hard-throwing hillbilly who in 2005 famously blasted his Philly teamates, claiming they were more worried about how their hair looked than they were about winning games (an obvious shot at Pat Burrell). He also said the Phillies "ain't got a chance" of making the playoffs and criticized his teammates for not having enough intensity, saying they quit when they got behind.

But the joke was on Billy, who in 2006 signed with the cockroaches up the road, The New York Mets. He was so excited to be in bagel town, he allowed this ridiculous photo to be taken of himself:

What a turd.

But what's funnier is that after saying the Phils quit when they were behind, the Mets decided to quit while they were ahead. And not once, but twice!

In 2007 the NY Mets led the NL East by 7 games with only 17 games left to play, but they imploded and suffered the worst collapse in MLB history. They went 5 - 12 down the stretch, sacrificing the division title to our beloved Philadelphia Phillies.

And then in 2008 they choked all over again. The were ahead by 3.5 games with 17 to go, and this time they went 7 - 10 down the stretch. We all know what happened next - the Phightins reaped the benefits, advancing to the playoffs and winning the October Classic. Here's a little reminder:

Who's the guy in the middle of that celebration?

Oh yeah, Phillies closer Brad Lidge. The guy who converted 48 of 48 saves in 2008. He's the same guy who this year is struggling with a league leading 8 blown saves. He's the guy who every time he turns on the radio has to listen to people - when they're not screaming into the phone about Mike Vick - say he's lost his edge and that the Phils should go out and get George Sherril, or maybe we should give Tyler Walker a shot. And he has to read articles like THIS (which is actually pretty funny). But worst of all, he now has to listen to his fans - the same fans who ran Billy Wagner out of town in a flaming wheelbarrow - call in to 610 WIP and say "Hey, maybe we should get Wagner from the Mets."

Anyone who thinks Wagner deserves a spot on the Phillies is insane. So what if he's a lefty and can throw 100mph fastballs? He's a scumbag. I'd rather have old-man Moyer lobbing lollipops in the 9th. And we've got Romero coming back soon too, so there's your hard throwing lefty.

Lidge will bounce back. He's a fixture in a good clubhouse and, as long as he's not injured, Charlie Manuel will use some weird West Virginian way of remedying the situation. Most importantly, though, the Phillies aren't the '07 Mets. They won't blow the lead. And now that that we know we can actually win championships in Philadelphia, Philly fans shouldn't expect them to. The curse is over. Let's enjoy it.