RAM JAM! Phillies. Eagles. Sixers. Flyers. And a song.

THE CORE FOUR

EAGLES:
- Dick Jauron has been a head coach and a defensive coordinator in the NFL. Now he's just a D-Backs coach. Still, Dick says he's happy to be on the squad.

- Brian Dawkins and Rich Gannon weigh in on the state of the Eagles offense, Donovan's future , and running the football. Kind of nice to hear B-Dawk say, "Run the ball. With that passing attack, the way that thing is shaping up to be, go ahead and bring Donovan [McNabb] back to where he's supposed to be, and run that pill and let those weapons outside go to work." (via Inquirer)

PHILLIES:
- The Phillies reached agreement with four pitching prospects: Righthanders David Herndon, J.C. Ramirez and Drew Naylor and lefthander Mike Zagurski. They also signed outfielder Freddie Guzman. "Guzman, 29, spent last season with the Triple A affiliates of Baltimore, Seattle, Boston and the New York Yankees. In 101 games, he hit .223 with two homers and 17 RBI but stole 45 bases in 54 attempts. A switch-hitter, he has spent parts of four seasons in the big leagues with a .211 average in 47 games." (via Philly Daily News)

- Check out Salisbury's State of the Phillies: Second Base at CSNPhilly.com. Great piece on Utley and the (dearth of) prospects waiting in the wings. And did you ever think of Utley as first-baseman? Apparently it could happen.

- The Good Phight has been breaking down the Phillies top 30 prospects over the past couple of weeks. Read about prospects #20 - #11 online today. Notable in the #20 - #11 list: Jonathan Singleton, Brody Colvin and Scott Mathieson. I love the taks on Mathieson:
Now here's a guy who's easy to root for. After two Tommy John surgeries, Mathieson has made a remarkable recovery and is now knocking on the door of the majors. A Top 10 prospect for the organization from 2004 through 2006 as a starter, Mathieson has re-invented himself as a fireballing reliever, and he cruised through three levels in 2009 (32.1 IP, 9.5 K/9, 3.3 BB/9, 0.28 HR/9, and a 2.61 FIP between the GCL, Clearwater, and Reading) before turning heads at the Arizona Fall League by flashing closer-quality stuff while whiffing 15 in 12.2 innings. He's down here, and not in the Top 10, because some caution is necessary -- he's still an injury risk, and he's yet to show that he can pitch on back-to-back days. The Phillies would be wise to see how he responds to that in Lehigh Valley before tossing him into the major league pen, so a midseason call up would be the most prudent course of action.

FLYERS
- Not only did the Flyers lose to the worst team in the NHL last night, but the last-second, game winning goal was scored by an ex-Flyer. Painful stuff, man.

76ers
- Elton Brand had 26 points, 9 rebounds and 3 blocks in the Sixers' 106-103 overtime victory against the Bulls last night. Iverson did not play due to his child's illness.

RANDOM CONNECTIONS TO PHILLY:
- Episcopal Academy grad and Saints fullback Kyle Eckel is under scrutiny right now, as people are starting to ask: "Why is Eckel, who ran for 1,147 yard at Navy in 2004, playing in Super Bowl XLIV instead of fulfilling his military obligation in the U.S. Nay?" Read more in this article by Gregg Doyel at CBSSports.com

WHACKY FOREGINERS OF THE DAY: Because foreigners are strange and unpredictable
- England pop duo JEDWARD cover Ice-Ice Baby, and they even get a cameo from Mr. Vanilla himself. This is just too strange for words


SONG FOR THE DAY: Let's switch gears and enjoy a song that actually doesn't suck...

RAM JAM: Eagles Have a Busy Day - Dick Jauron, Mike Vick and New Punter Durant Brooks

- The Eagles have hired Dick Jauron to replace Brian Stewart as Defensive Backs Coach. "Jauron and Eagles head coach Andy Reid are close friends and worked together on Mike Holmgren’s staff with the Packers in the mid-1990s...Jauron served as the Bills’ head coach from 2006 through Week 10 of this past season, going 24-33 before getting fired in November." First task to accomplish with the DB's - tackling. Can't win if you can't tackle, and it was a huge problem all year long. (via PhillyBurbs)

- Michael Vick to remain in Eagles green? "NFL Network's Michael Lombardi reported Tuesday night that the Eagles, suddenly, plan to keep quarterback Michael Vick. Lombardi says the Eagles feel as if they're "in a luxury position" with regard to their current quarterback group. They have Vick, probable future starter Kevin Kolb, and five-time Pro Bowler Donovan McNabb signed through 2010." (via profootballtalk.com)

- No more shankapotomus! In what seems to be a move to replace the incosistent Sav Rocca, the Eagles have signed punter Durant Brooks to a 2-year deal. Dude looks awesome. . .


- Schmidt and Morandini will be in Clearwater for Spring Ball. "Former Phillies Mike Schmidt and Mickey Morandini will return to Clearwater, Fla., as guest instructors for the Phils in spring training this year, the team announced yesterday." (via Inquirer)

THIS GUY SUCKS: Check out this video of a high-school volleyball coach pegging one of his players in the head with a ball. Guy deserves a beat down. At least he issued an apology.


- SONG FOR THE DAY:

RAM JAM! Herschel Busts Skulls, Viva Bastardo, DeSean Pro Bowl, Horny Goat. And a song.

- Former Philadelhpia Eagle Herschel Walker is victorious in his first MMA battle. Reread that sentence. Walker, who won the Heisman Trophy in 1982 and was an Olympian in 1992, won by TKO at 2:17 in the third round over Greg Nagy.

- Antonio Bastardo is having one helluva an off-season. Looks likely he'll be a regular face in the Phillies bullpen this season. Bastardo has pitched in 17 innings this postseason, allowing just four hits, three walks while striking out 26 for an ERA of 0.53.

- DeSean Jackson struts his stuff at the Pro Bowl and, as he did all season, outruns a handful of defenders for a 50+ yard TD.


- NFL announces 2000's all decade team. David Akers is the only current Eagle to make the squad, but former Eagles Brian Dawkins and Terrel Owens made the roster as well.

- Kevin Kolb wants his chance to start at QB. "I want to be a starter in the NFL," Kolb told the Fort Worth Star-Telegram. "That's my No. 1 goal right now. I want that opportunity. But I'm going to be a team player. I trust (coach) Andy (Reid). I trust his decisions and his ability to see what's in the future and plan out my career the right way. Hopefully, we'll do those things to get me on the field at some point, not knowing when it's going to be."

- Andre Miller, formerly of the 76ers, scored 52 points in an OT win over the Dallas Mavericks this weekend. Meanwhile, the Sixers barely squeak by the lowly Nets. Remember, the Nets only have 4 WINS on the entire season.

RENEGADE ANIMAL OF THE DAY: A horny goat uses his head to smash in the door to a California strip club. Once inside the goat stares at himself in the mirror for a while, and then gets shooed away. Watch the video here.

SONG LYRICS TAKEN OUT OF CONTEXT: "I haven't slept for two days / I've bathed in nothing but sweat / And I've made hallways scenes for things to regret "

SONG OF THE DAY:

RAM JAM! McNabb Got Jokes, Jim Thome in Minnesota. And a song.

Because I get up six hours before you do, so I survey the interweb and hit you with a RAM JAM of need-to-know info. Let's get started:

- Donovan McNabb plays role of class-clown at NFC Prow Bowl team's first meeting, poking fun of Vernon Davis' hair and teasing Jason Witten about getting beat down by the Vikings in the playoffs.

- Will McNabb be wearing a Vikings jersey next season? Google seems to think so.

- At least one former Philadelphia superstar will be in Minnesota next year: Slugger Jim Thome agrees to terms with the Twins.

- Charlie Manuel discusses pitching changes, depth on the bench, and the World Series.

- All eyes on Tim Tebow at the Senior Bowl. Too bad for him, though, because nobody seems to be impressed. And where is Coach Reid during this important week of scouting? At home, due to inclement weather.

WHACKY FOREIGNER OF THE DAY: China is FINALLY going to ban the eating of cats and dogs. About time, eh?

SONG OF THE DAY:

RAM JAM! Less Sports, More Sunday-ness.

Because I get up six hours before you do, so I survey the interweb and hit you with a RAM JAM of need-to-know info. Let's get started:

Michael Vick has been named in a steroid case. Read the official interview transcript online at The Smoking Gun. Perhaps Mike will explain further on his BET documentary series, The Michael Vick Project. Unfortunately for the BET, The Vick project debuts against the opener for the final season of LOST.

Villanova hoops improves to 18-1 with victory over St. Johns. Is Scottie Reynolds worthy of Big East Player of the Year?

Elton Brand scores 23 points and the Sixers earn their 2nd straight victory, this time against the Pacers. Of course the Sixers almost blew a 13 point lead in the 4th quarter, but they were able to hold out for the win. And Elton Brand even got some props from coach Eddie Jordan.

CRAZY FOREIGNER OF THE DAY: Foreigners are whacky and unpredictable.

Prince William allows a 15 year-old Australian schoolgirl to give to give him a peck on his handsome cheek. How cheeky! The girl, Victoria Downie, is - and this is not a joke - a PART TIME MODEL!

which brings us to. . .

SONG LYRIC TAKEN OUT OF CONTEXT: "In the buff, being rude, doing stuff with the food, getting lewd with his food, we heard that's what you are into!"

PAY HUMANS TO KEEP YOUR BED WARM AT HOLIDAY INN (see pic at top of posting): Holiday Inn launches "human bed warming service", which, to me, sounds horrible. Imagine, "Oh, I am so lonely and cold in my hotel room. I miss my family so much. I know, why don't I call the front desk and have them send up a fat maid in a robe so she can lay in my bed until I fall asleep! Then she can steal shit from me and let her sick, hotel worker friends into my room so they can violate my person and wipe their butts with my toothbrush!" Stupid, stupid, stupid Holiday Inn.

PRODUCT or MEAL that sounds like a POOP PRANK or SEX POSITION:

Chitterlings. Educate yourself, fool.

SLEEPTALKER QUOTE OF THE DAY: "Shhhhhhhhh. shhhhhhhhh. I'm telling you: your voice, my ears. A bad combination."

SONG FOR THE DAY:

Good Morning. Here's Everything You Need to Know. And a Song.

The Phillies hope to sign Shane Victorio to a multiyear deal, and they exchange potential salaries with Big Joe and Chooch. Lock 'em up.

Will Michael Vick start at QB for the Rams next season? Some think so. Read here.

Phillies give a tryout to Eric Gagne? Remember when he was awesome? Yeah, he was juicing. Now he's just another fat guy in glasses. I'd rather have Kenny Powers in red pinstripes.

Les Bowen of the Daily News calls Howard Eskin a liar and makes a case for B West returning to the NFL.

Eagles sign Martell Mallet, a rookie sensation from. . .the Canadian Football League. Mallett, 23, rushed for 1,280 yards and six touchdowns on 214 carries, an average of 5.8 yards per carry. He also caught 43 passes for 342 yards and two touchdowns, made the league's all-star team and was named its top rookie. Is he the answer for 4th and 1? Doubt it.

Venus Williams moons fans at Australian Open. Why couldn't it have been Anna K?

And now, a good song to start the day with:

Matt Mosley Wants To Make Love To A Cowboys Helmet

Esteemed - and completely unbiased - sports writer Matt Mosley makes a mockery of himself in this article on ESPN.com.

He makes a pathetic argument against the Eagles, and worse argument in favor of the Cowboys. The Eagles defense didn't lose the game against NO - special teams did. You can't beat any team in football if you keep handing them the ball at your own 20 yard line. They responded well the next week, albeit against a sorry team. Mark Nov 1 and Nov 8 on your calendar - The Giants and Boys will be exposed.

As for the the Cowboys - they are the same horrible team that hasn't won a playoff game since Romo was riding the shortbus to middle-school (give it up for 1996!). Their RBs will be hurt all year, their WR are all 2nd tier, and their QB is scared of getting hit....anyone see the mic'd up video on NFL.com from week 1? Romo gets hit while throwing a TD and then gets up and instead of celebrating he starts yelling at his linemen - Who got me killed?!?! Speaking of Dallas linemen - Flozell Adams will have about a million penalties again this season because he's huge and stupid. Jason Witten is awesome, but he can't do everything. And what about Jerry Jones? He's making people $100 for standing room only tickets with absolutely no view of the field. Add all that up and you have to admit the entire Cowboys organization sucks a fat one.

Also, pretty lame of Mosley to use strength of schedule to back up his argument. He's quick to point out the Eagles have only beat Carolina and KC, but he fails to mention Dallas has earned their wins over. . .oh yeah. . .Carolina. . .and that beast of a team from Tampa Bay. Both Dallas and Philly have suffered their only losses to undefeated teams. Strength of schedule can't be a factor in this discussion. But he's the expert, surely he knows best.

I'm not an idiot. I know the Eagles have flaws and that there are huge question marks on the team. That being said, I refuse to let some turd burglar who wears Cowboys pajamas blast the Eagles in a supposedly loyalty-neutral forum. Reading his articles is almost as bad as listening to Michael Irvin on TV, or, worse, Merril Hoge say anything at all about football in general. Why can't everyone be like Jaws? He's a classy guy who leaves his green at home when he heads to work at the studio. Everyone loves Jaws. Even David Anderson of the Houston Texans:

Saturday Snapshots: The Big Piece, The Red Zone, and The Greatest Freakout Ever

This time last year Brad Lidge was perfect, converting 32 straight save opportunities. And Cole Hamels was 11 - 8. But how was the team doing? On this date last year, the Phils had lost three straight (one to the Mets and two the sCrUBs) and were 2 games behind the Mets in the NL East. Relive the misery here. This year we're 22 games over .500 with an 8 game lead over Florida and Atlanta, who are tied for second. We're only a 1/2 game back of the Dodgers for the best record in the National League. So people can worry about Lidge and Hamels all they want, but the reality is we have a nasty team and there's an entire month of regular season ball left. They'll get themselves right for October. So quit whining. Go to dollar dog night and enjoy yourself.

Speaking of Lidge. . .The Phils struggling closer showed up to the park last night sporting a sweet new haircut, which he thinks will inspire him to pitch better. Looks like the buzzcut helped, too, as Lidge pitched a perfect ninth inning, earning his 26th save in the Phils 4-2 victory over Atlanta.

Maybe Raul Ibanez needs a haircut, too. Ibanez has just 9 hits in his last 61 at-bats and only 1 HR in his last 96 at-bats. This is a guy who started off the season by hitting 20 HRs in 56 games - the fastest a Philadelphia player has ever reached the 20HR mark.

Ryan Howard is "The Big Piece". I hadn't heard this, but I think it's kind of funny. Read the Jim Salisbury article online at Philly.com. And indeed Howard is doing all he can to keep this team atop the NL East. He's batting .339 with 11 HRs and 29 RBIs in his last 15 games.

The Eagles preseason victory over the Jags was misleading at best, as both the offense and the defense failed to fire on all cylinders. Of course the big story was Michael Vick, but to focus on his performance - completed 4 of 4 passes for a total of 19 yards - would be a waste of time. Yeah, he played and everyone including myself was excited to see what he could do, but his presence wasn't enough to right the O's miscues, fumbleities and overall flacid red-zone performance.

The Red Zone was a huge problem for the Eagles last year, and Thursday's game against the Jags didn't indicate things would get better any time soon. In their first three red zone possessions, the starters went FG, fumble (recovered for TD), and FG. That just flat out sucks. All last year we had to suffer and watch the Eagles lose close games that they should have won if they could just score actual TDs inside the 20 yard line. Anyone remember the Bears game last year? If not, refresh your memory. I was there, and I never want to witness anything so limp-dicked again. In 2008, the Eagles went 9 - 6 -1, and in those 6 losses they only lost one game by more than a TD. If you take out that horrible Ravens game, the Eagles lost, on average, by 5.2 points. Those are games we could've should've won if we had any success in the friggin red zone. I love David Akers, but if I have to watch him kick field goals from the 12 yard line all season, I'm gonna cut my eyeballs out.

Todd Herremanns, who could be a huge help moving the line in the red zone, had to undergo foot surgery yesterday. I really hope he gets healthy soon and that the O-Line will actually play together as a complete unit before, hmm, week 6?!? Is that too much to ask?

Amid all that, McNabb looked pretty sharp for the most part. His numbers are impressive for three quarters of play - 21/36, 244 yards, 1 TD, 1 INT.

Did I mention the Eagles suck in the red zone? Let me reiterate how badly they suck in the red zone. I don't want anyone to read this any walk away without fully comprehending how much of a problem the red zone is for the eagles. As reported in The Morning Call: The Eagles ranked 22nd in the league inside the 20 last season. And so far this preseason, they went 3 of 8 against the Jags, 0 for 2 against Indy, and 2 for 5 against New England. To sum it up, the Eagles need an answer for the Red Zone. Is the answer Mike Vick? Maybe. Is it Brent Celek or LeSean McCoy? I hope so. Is it Tony Curtis? Definitely not.

In other news. . .

I found a great site called Lamebook that you should all check out. Basically it just highlights all the idiots on facebook. Try and find the post for "Fun Day", but, be warned, it's only for the brave of heart.

And last but not least, check out Deadspin's NFL preview of the Packers. If you can't laugh at this there's something wrong with you.

Oh and here's a video you will enjoy:

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