Friday, February 5, 2010

Why Does Trouble Follow Michael Irvin Everywhere He Goes?


...Because he's an ASSHOLE! Now he's being accused of rape. I find it amazing that this guy is not only employed with a job where he flashes his phony grin on the TV screen every Sunday, but he's also a Hall of Fame member. Have people forgotten who this prick is? Let me remind you, he is an attempted murderer. It's one thing to get mad at another dude on your team, but it's something a lot darkere - criminal, even - when you stab that person in the neck and tried to kill him. But of course Irvin was on the Cowboys, and Jerry Jones just swept that one right under the rug. But that's just one incident in a long string of allegations and legal nightmares. Read more (from his wikipedia page) below, and ask yourself, how does so much misfortune fall in one guy's lap? The answer? He's a lying, self-serving, manipulative scumbag. And he was a Cowboy. I wish I could have been there when his career ended.
1996 arrest
In March 1996, Irvin was arrested on charges of
cocaine possession at a hotel party celebrating his 30th birthday. After numerous court appearances amid a national media circus, which featured Irvin showing up to court in a full-length mink coat, he pled no contest to the charges and was sentenced to community service, ordered to pay a $10,000 fine, and put on 4-years probation. When drug-tested for illicit drugs, he tested negative. But the NFL suspended Irvin for the first five games of the 1996 season. In Irvin's 1996 absence, the Cowboys struggled out of the gate and never recovered. Upon his return from suspension, Irvin tallied 962 receiving yards in only 11 games.
[
edit]
1998 alleged assault
In 1998 Irvin was alleged to be involved in a bizarre incident during training camp when he allegedly inflicted a two-inch cut in the neck of Dallas guard
Everett McIver while some team members were getting haircuts.[7] Whether it was battery or accidental McIver did not press charges, and rumors swirled that Irvin brokered a six-figure settlement with McIver to drop the matter. Accounts of this incident after the alleged settlement became difficult to find or research in the local Dallas press.[8]

[edit] False sexual assault allegation
Irvin sustained further damage to his reputation in 1996 when controversy reared its head again as the Cowboys prepared to play the
Carolina Panthers for their NFC Divisional Playoff game. Media reports stated that Irvin and teammate Erik Williams had sexually assaulted a Dallas woman, Nina Shahravan, and, with a gun to her head, videotaped the interaction.
Despite Williams' and Irvin's denials of the allegations, the story overshadowed the game, which the Cowboys lost. The accuser was later proven to have fabricated the entire incident. She recanted her story, pled guilty to
perjury and filing a false police report and was sentenced to 90 days in prison and a fine. In the first quarter of the playoff game with Carolina, with Shahravan's allegations under active investigation by Dallas police, Irvin suffered a broken collarbone, ending his 1996 season.
[edit] Arrests since retirement
A year following his retirement from the NFL, Irvin again was arrested on drug possession charges.[9] In this case, Irvin was in a Dallas apartment with an unrelated woman. Neither answered the door when police drug task force agents arrived with a search warrant. Police entered the apartment forcibly, finding drugs. Irvin and the female were placed under arrest, though charges against Irvin were later dropped.

The promises of a new lifestyle in broadcasting appeared to be short-lived, with Irvin again arrested. In this instance Irvin was pulled over in
Plano, Texas for speeding on November 25, 2005. Irvin was arrested on an outstanding warrant on an unpaid speeding ticket in Irving, Texas, but was also cited for misdemeanor possession of drug paraphernalia after police searched his car and found the marijuana pipe, and plastic bags with marijuana residue.[10] Irvin was arrested for a Class C misdemeanor. He was later released on bond, with ESPN spokesman Josh Krulewitz saying only that: "We are reviewing the facts of the situation and have no comment at this time."

Two days after his arrest, Irvin appeared on ESPN's "Sunday NFL Countdown", as scheduled, on November 27, 2005. In his on-the-air comments that evening, he stated that he had taken the drug paraphernalia away from a longtime friend who was battling a drug addiction. Irvin told the
Associated Press he was trying to help someone close to him get off drugs and cares more about that than his chances of being inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame. The next day Irvin said the pipe was in fact his brother's and he (Irvin) was going to throw it out but had forgotten to do so.

On December 1, 2005, however, ESPN suspended Irvin for the Sunday and Monday Night Countdown shows on December 4 and December 5, 2005.
[11] He returned to both shows with no mention or consequence of the past incident.

RAM JAM! Amare Stoudemire a 76er? Plus Poo&Pee Toys!


EAGLES
- McNabb believes Vick could help other teams. Then he went on Sports Center and tried his hand at the studio analyst thing. Read all his comments in this article from Les Bown of the The Daily News.

- Eagles hire former GM Phil Savage as their Draft Consultant. "Savage, 44, spent four years as senior vice president and general manager of the Cleveland Browns." (CSNPhilly.com). Great, we hired the brain child who built the NFL powerhouse known as the Cleveland Browns. /sad trombone. . .

PHILLIES
- The Phillies signed reliever Oscar Villarreal to a minor-league deal on Thursday. "Villarreal, who missed the entire 2009 season recovering from Tommy John surgery, will not be invited to spring training."

76ers:
- Would you trade Andre Iguodala and Sam Dalembert for Amare Stoudemire? Looks like the Suns are desperate to get a deal done.

FLYERS:
- The Flyers fail to land Ilya Kovalchuk. "The Ilya Kovalchuk Sweepstakes ended in Newark and not Philadelphia." (via CSN philly)

SONG LYRIC TAKEN OUT OF CONTEXT: "Maybe, baby, I just wanna do you / do you wann do me, do me, underneath the moonlight?"

WHACKY FOREINGER OF THE DAY: Because foreigners are whacky and unpredictable
- A Swedish company is selling Pee & Poo Plush Toys! You can buy them online here at the official Pee&Poo website. I like the Pee&Poo combo duo myself.

SONG OF THE DAY:

Thursday, February 4, 2010

THE FIVE BEST CLOSER ANTHEMS THAT WILL NEVER BE USED

There's always a song that plays when the closer jogs in from the bullpen and takes his warm up throws from the mound. This song is usually hand-selected by the closer himself, and it's meant to serve as a form of motivation for the pitcher, and intimidation for the batter. It is, in effect, the closer's anthem. Who can forget "Wild Thing" playing every time Charlie Sheen's character took the mound in Major League? And, in real life, most baseball fans think of Mariano Rivera whenever they hear Enter Sadman by Metallica. For Phillies fans, this is particularly painful because it's the song that played just before MO closed out the World Series. It's a pretty intimdating song to hear come blasting out of a stadium's speakers. . .




The songs vary by pitcher. Our very own Brad Lidge chose "Soldiers" by Drowning Pool as his theme song during his brilliant 2008 campaign. The song is an homage to both our US service men and Lidge's love of metal. In 2009 he chose "No More Sorrow" by Linkin Park (which, frankly, sucks).

Jonathan Papplebon, Boston's steely eyed closer, chose "I'm Shipping Up To Boston" by the Dropkick Murphys for his entrance. This obviosuly keeps Boston's loyal Irish fanbase happy as hell.




Tom Gordon used to chug out to the mound while "The Flash Gordon Theme" by Queen blared throughout the stadium. (Flash! Ah-Ah! King of the impossible!). Jose Valverde used to strut out to "Big Poppa" by none other than the Notorious B-I-G. Now that's pretty badass. J.J. Putz made his entrance to AC/DC's "Thunderstruck". And big fat Eric Gagne used to enter to "Welcome To The Jungle". So you see, there's no real formula here. All pitchers try and pick a loud, intimidating song that will pump up both themselves as well as the fans.

I have a different theory.

Baseball, more than any other sport, is a mental game. It's a long season made up of long games and long traveling stretches. Much of a baseball player's time is spent inside of his own head - waiting in the dugout, waiting in between pitches, waiting in between innings, waiting for planes, waiting for a ball to get their way. All this waiting leads to thinking, and thinking is the death of any major leaguer. The more you think, the worse you are. Baseball, of course, is the only sport to have something known as the "Steve Blass Disease", whereby "talented players inexplicably and permanently seem to lose their ability to accurately throw a baseball" (via wikipedia).


So yeah, my theory is that closer's should try their damndest to screw with batters' heads. And they should do this by selecting seemingly strange entrance songs.


Reasoning: By now, all batters expect to hear something rageful like Enter Sandman or Thunderstruck, so they aren't phased when some sinister rock anthem echoes in their ears. The only way to really mess with his mind, then, is to surprise him with a non-traditional closer jam. So yeah, the wait is over. Here are the TOP TEN CLOSER SONGS (THAT WILL NEVER BE USED)


5.) Shiny Happy People by REM: Would you be able to concentrate after hearing Michael Stype blaring at full throttle amplification in a Major League Baseball stadium. The fans would have to be in on it - laughing, swaying and HOLDING FRIGGIN HANDS like psycho christians at one of those mega churches in Texas. And it would be doubly effective if the VERY awkward video played on the stadium's jumbotron. In 3 minutes the ambience would no longer be that of a baseball game, but rather that of a dorky early nineties keg party where guys were happy to wear big polka dot shirts and stupid floppy hats. Advantage, home team.


4.) Unskinny Bop by Poison: This song will creep out and confuse like none other. Imagine hearing this "Everytime I touch ya you get hot, I wanna make love you never stop!" and then looking up the mound and seeing K-Rod wink at you?? And then it just gets more confusing when you hear, "What's right? What's wrong? What's left? What the hell is going on?". Hade enough Unskinny Bop, Mr Batter? Okay, now here's a 95mph thrown right at your head. TAKE THAT!

3.) Wipe Out by The Surfaris: I dare you to listen that song. Now try and get it out of your head. You can't, can you? Now try hitting a slider. *Optional: Pitcher does Pee-Wee Herman dance in between warm up tosses.

2.) Jesus Is a Friend of Mine by Sonseed: This needs no explanation. . .




1.) International Delight by Wayne Brady: The batter will be too busy trying to understand if that was really a Wayne Brady commercial that he just heard - and, if it was, (which it WAS) he will be so baffled by the absurdity that he won't be able to touch bat to ball. Not even just the tip? No, not even the tip.


McNabb & T.O. MAKE PEACE

- Super Bowl week and all eyes are on two guys who failed to win the big game together. The Big Lead reports that Donovan McNabb and Terrell Owens made peace last night at a party thrown by Shaq. Amazing that these guys are still relevant in the soap opera dramedy of the modern sports world. I wonder what words were actually exchanged behind the blockade of bodyguards. Guess we'll never know.

RAM JAM! Phillies. Eagles. Sixers. Flyers. And a song.

THE CORE FOUR

EAGLES:
- Dick Jauron has been a head coach and a defensive coordinator in the NFL. Now he's just a D-Backs coach. Still, Dick says he's happy to be on the squad.

- Brian Dawkins and Rich Gannon weigh in on the state of the Eagles offense, Donovan's future , and running the football. Kind of nice to hear B-Dawk say,
"Run the ball. With that passing attack, the way that thing is shaping up to be, go ahead and bring Donovan [McNabb] back to where he's supposed to be, and run that pill and let those weapons outside go to work." (via Inquirer)

PHILLIES:
-
The Phillies reached agreement with four pitching prospects: Righthanders David Herndon, J.C. Ramirez and Drew Naylor and lefthander Mike Zagurski. They also signed outfielder Freddie Guzman. "Guzman, 29, spent last season with the Triple A affiliates of Baltimore, Seattle, Boston and the New York Yankees. In 101 games, he hit .223 with two homers and 17 RBI but stole 45 bases in 54 attempts. A switch-hitter, he has spent parts of four seasons in the big leagues with a .211 average in 47 games." (via Philly Daily News)

- Check out Salisbury's State of the Phillies: Second Base at CSNPhilly.com. Great piece on Utley and the (dearth of) prospects waiting in the wings. And did you ever think of Utley as first-baseman? Apparently it could happen.

- The Good Phight has been breaking down the Phillies top 30 prospects over the past couple of weeks. Read about prospects #20 - #11 online today. Notable in the #20 - #11 list: Jonathan Singleton, Brody Colvin and Scott Mathieson. I love the taks on Mathieson:
Now here's a guy who's easy to root for. After two Tommy John surgeries, Mathieson has made a remarkable recovery and is now knocking on the door of the majors. A Top 10 prospect for the organization from 2004 through 2006 as a starter, Mathieson has re-invented himself as a fireballing reliever, and he cruised through three levels in 2009 (32.1 IP, 9.5 K/9, 3.3 BB/9, 0.28 HR/9, and a 2.61 FIP between the GCL, Clearwater, and Reading) before turning heads at the Arizona Fall League by flashing closer-quality stuff while whiffing 15 in 12.2 innings. He's down here, and not in the Top 10, because some caution is necessary -- he's still an injury risk, and he's yet to show that he can pitch on back-to-back days. The Phillies would be wise to see how he responds to that in Lehigh Valley before tossing him into the major league pen, so a midseason call up would be the most prudent course of action.

FLYERS
-
Not only did the Flyers lose to the worst team in the NHL last night, but the last-second, game winning goal was scored by an ex-Flyer. Painful stuff, man.

76ers
-
Elton Brand had 26 points, 9 rebounds and 3 blocks in the Sixers' 106-103 overtime victory against the Bulls last night. Iverson did not play due to his child's illness.

RANDOM CONNECTIONS TO PHILLY:
-
Episcopal Academy grad and Saints fullback Kyle Eckel is under scrutiny right now, as people are starting to ask: "Why is Eckel, who ran for 1,147 yard at Navy in 2004, playing in Super Bowl XLIV instead of fulfilling his military obligation in the U.S. Nay?" Read more in this article by Gregg Doyel at CBSSports.com

WHACKY FOREGINERS OF THE DAY: Because foreigners are strange and unpredictable
-
England pop duo JEDWARD cover Ice-Ice Baby, and they even get a cameo from Mr. Vanilla himself. This is just too strange for words


SONG FOR THE DAY: Let's switch gears and enjoy a song that actually doesn't suck...


Wednesday, February 3, 2010

RAM JAM: Eagles Have a Busy Day - Dick Jauron, Mike Vick and New Punter Durant Brooks

- The Eagles have hired Dick Jauron to replace Brian Stewart as Defensive Backs Coach. "Jauron and Eagles head coach Andy Reid are close friends and worked together on Mike Holmgren’s staff with the Packers in the mid-1990s...Jauron served as the Bills’ head coach from 2006 through Week 10 of this past season, going 24-33 before getting fired in November." First task to accomplish with the DB's - tackling. Can't win if you can't tackle, and it was a huge problem all year long. (via PhillyBurbs)

- Michael Vick to remain in Eagles green? "NFL Network's Michael Lombardi reported Tuesday night that the Eagles, suddenly, plan to keep quarterback Michael Vick. Lombardi says the Eagles feel as if they're "in a luxury position" with regard to their current quarterback group. They have Vick, probable future starter Kevin Kolb, and five-time Pro Bowler Donovan McNabb signed through 2010." (via profootballtalk.com)

- No more shankapotomus! In what seems to be a move to replace the incosistent Sav Rocca, the Eagles have signed punter Durant Brooks to a 2-year deal. Dude looks awesome. . .


- Schmidt and Morandini will be in Clearwater for Spring Ball. "Former Phillies Mike Schmidt and Mickey Morandini will return to Clearwater, Fla., as guest instructors for the Phils in spring training this year, the team announced yesterday." (via Inquirer)

THIS GUY SUCKS: Check out this video of a high-school volleyball coach pegging one of his players in the head with a ball. Guy deserves a beat down. At least he issued an apology.


- SONG FOR THE DAY:

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

RAM JAM! The Mike Vick Project, Tom Brookshier, and an Ode to Donovan McNabb

- Michael Vick claims he is still a top 10 QB in NFL. And don't forget, tonight is the season premiere of The Michael Vick Project on the BET.

- Tom Brookshier, All-Pro Cornerback on the Eagles 1960 World Champion team, passed away at age 78. Hall of fame sportswriter Ray Didinger remembers the Eagles legend in this great article from CSN Philly.

- Eagles President Joe Banner had some interesting comments on the McNabb situation: "Here's the reality on that," Banner said. "It sounds evasive, but it isn't. . . . We really have not had the meeting to start figuring this stuff out. Obviously we have to do that. . . . Obviously we have to make a decision on what we're going to do. But at this moment, I can tell you that we haven't even laid out a plan or sat down and even exchanged our different ideas or thoughts on that."

- Speaking of Don, here's an interesting "Ode to Donovan". I like the bluesy music and the stilted way the guy recites his satiric sports poetry:


- Ruben Amaro Jr defends the Cliff Lee trade and makes this bold statement: "We cannot be the New York Yankees," Amaro said. "We have to have people that we can bring to the big leagues from our system. The guys who are our core players are guys from our system." Okay, Ruben, we can't BE the Yankees, but we have to BEAT the Yankees.

- Placido Polanco is prepping himself for the shift from 2nd to 3rd base. Meanwhile, Pedro Feliz is catching up with some old friends in Houston.

SONG FOR THE DAY:

MLB STANDINGS

NFL STANDINGS